by Diane Hullet, Founder of Best Life Best Death

December 2024

In recent years, the role of end-of-life doulas has gained traction as more people seek compassionate, non-medical support during the final stages of life. Three pioneering doulas—Gabby Jimenez, Diane Button, and Angela Shook—are at the forefront of this movement, drawing on a collective 30 years of experience.

Together, one year ago, they authored The Doula Tool Kit: The Complete Practical Guide for End-of-Life Doulas & Caregivers. This comprehensive guide is for doulas and caregivers alike, offering a book filled with practical resources, emotional guidance, and personal stories.

As a trio of passionate caregivers, Gabby, Diane, and Angela bring diverse backgrounds to the table, but they share a unified goal: to make end-of-life care more accessible, dignified, and filled with heart.

This article explores their journeys, their motivations, and the key components of The Doula Tool Kit. You can find the conversation behind this article as episode #118 of the Best Life Best Death podcast.

Gabby Jimenez: A Nurse and Doula at the Crossroads of Compassion

For Gabby Jimenez, a hospice nurse and end-of-life doula, her role goes beyond traditional caregiving. Gabby has been present at over 2,000 final moments, holding hands and offering comfort at the bedside. To her, the work is about “removing fear and uncertainty, respecting curiosity, and finding peace for everyone in the room.”

This profound dedication to reducing negative energy and bringing calm to her patients is central to her approach. Gabby combines her medical expertise with the non-judgmental support that defines a doula’s role, enriching her care with meaningful rituals that provide comfort and depth for her clients.

“Being a doula is about honoring that sacred act of dying, of being truly present,” she says. The Doula Toolkit is, in her words, a way of passing on the tools and wisdom she wishes she had when she first started, giving new doulas and caregivers the confidence to support the dying and their families with love and ease.

Diane Button: A Lifelong Learner Seeking Meaning in Life and Death

Diane Button’s journey into end-of-life care began 25 years ago, driven by her curiosity about the varied ways that people die. Some pass peacefully, others struggle, and this stark contrast piqued Diane’s interest in what makes for a meaningful life—and, by extension, a peaceful death. She eventually wrote a master’s thesis on the topic, which led her to become an end-of-life doula.

As an instructor in the University of Vermont’s End-of-Life Doula Program, Diane is also a teacher, guiding new doulas in this burgeoning field. Her practice in the San Francisco Bay Area is thriving, and she and her partners find themselves continuously busy as the demand for doulas rises.

Diane’s role as a mentor extends beyond her students; she’s invested in creating a network of support for new doulas. In The Doula Toolkit, she shares her wisdom to help fledgling doulas walk into a client’s home with confidence and compassion.

Angela Shook: Heart for Service Born from Experience

Angela Shook entered the doula field six years ago, inspired by the death of a family member and her firsthand experience of the grace and healing that hospice care can bring. Since then, she has immersed herself in end-of-life education, eventually serving as president of the National End-of-Life Doula Alliance.

Angela has also pioneered work in companion animal doula services, partnering with a local veterinarian to support pets and their owners during end-of-life transitions.

One of the chapters in The Doula Toolkit includes insights from this unique aspect of her practice, sharing the challenges and beauty of bringing dignity to dying animals.

Angela reflects on the difficulty and importance of practicing “unconditional positive regard,” even in challenging situations. For her, the book is a chance to offer reassurance and guidance to those who feel called to doula work but may be unsure of where to begin.

The Birth of The Doula Toolkit

The idea for The Doula Toolkit emerged during conversations among these three doulas about the growing demand for resources. “We all kept getting emails from new doulas, asking for help with intake forms, client agreements, or just general guidance,” Diane recalls. They realized there wasn’t a single source that offered all these practical tools along with real-life advice from experienced doulas.

What started as a simple collection of forms evolved into a 200-page guide filled with sample agreements, intake forms, legacy project ideas, vigil planning checklists, and invaluable “doula tips” sprinkled throughout. These tips are bite-sized nuggets of wisdom from their years of experience—insights they wish they had known when they began their careers.

Gabby explains that the book is more than just a practical guide. “We wanted to hand over our personal rituals and practices, to make this work accessible and empowering for new doulas,” she says. “We’re not asking readers to copy us, but to take these tools and make them their own.”

Stories of the Heart: Lessons from the Field

While The Doula Toolkit is packed with forms and practical advice, it also includes deeply personal stories that illustrate the nuances and challenges of doula work.

Angela shares a story about a particularly challenging experience with a beloved family dog whose owners were struggling to provide adequate care. Despite her personal discomfort, she reminded herself to practice “unconditional positive regard,” recognizing that the family’s love for the pet was genuine, even if their care fell short. “Death isn’t always pretty,” Angela reflects, “but there is beauty in being the last person to offer a gentle touch.”

Diane shares her experience of sitting vigil with a client who chose to stop eating and drinking—a choice known as Voluntarily Stopping Eating and Drinking (VSED). As she spent 11 days in vigil, often alone, Diane found herself drawing on every doula skill she had. “That experience taught me so much about pacing myself and taking care of my own needs,” she says. “As doulas, we can’t pour from an empty cup.”

Gabby creates so much meaning for families through rituals. In the book, she shares the details of these practices, including the items needed to create peaceful and meaningful ceremonies for families.

Initially hesitant to share these “secret” rituals, she realized that, as a community, doulas gain strength from sharing. “These rituals aren’t mine to keep. They’re gifts I’m passing on,” she says. “If they can bring peace to someone else’s loved one, that’s all that matters.”

A Community of Support

The three authors hope that The Doula Toolkit will empower new doulas, and they also emphasize the importance of building a community.

Angela highlights the value of reaching out to other doulas for support. “None of us are doing this work alone,” she says. “We’ve all called each other for advice or just a listening ear.”

The book was also written to reach beyond doulas, offering support to anyone who finds themselves caring for someone at the end of life, whether they are hospice volunteers, nurses, or family members. Family members are most often the center of caregiving, and they need resources like this to feel supported in that difficult role.

“Any family member who is caregiving can benefit from these materials,” says Gabby. She expresses her hope that readers will feel both inspired and equipped to find their own voice in this work.

Echoing that sentiment, Angela says, “I hope that anyone who reads The Doula Toolkit will feel empowered to accompany others at the end of life.”

Diane’s wish is simple: that the book provides the confidence for doulas to “knock on the door” without fear.

The Future of Doula Work and The Doula Toolkit

The book launched a year ago, on December 4, 2023, and the authors are eager to see how it will shape the next generation of doulas. For Gabby, Diane, and Angela, the most rewarding aspect of this project has been the opportunity to share their collective wisdom with others and to contribute to a growing community dedicated to changing the way we approach death.

As The Doula Toolkit moves beyond the first anniversary of its publication, these women hope it will encourage more people to consider end-of-life doula work, not just as a career, but as a calling to serve others. The more doulas there are, they believe, the more peaceful and supported the journey of dying will become—not just for individuals, but for families, friends, and communities.

You can find The Doula Toolkit on Amazon or anywhere you like to buy books. Gabby’s work can be found at thehospiceheart.net, Diane’s at dianebutton.com, and Angela’s at angelashook.com.

Together, these doulas are not only transforming how we approach death, but also showing that there is beauty and peace to be found—even in the hardest moments.

Listen to the full conversation behind this article as episode #118 of the Best Life Best Death podcast.