Emerson Lee shares a view of dementia that broadens how we perceive the loss of cognitive abilities – and thus might shift how we deal with such changes.

✅ What if we put less emphasis on mental abilities and found ways to connect, relate and create?

✅ What if caregivers understood how to find the “micro delights” for each individual, thus supporting connection and regulation?

✅ What if your fears of dementia could be eased through greater understanding of possibilities and planning ahead?

✅ What if caregivers gained new tools and resources to support themselves and their loved ones?

Learn more at her website here: https://www.makinghappymemories.com/

Facebook.com/happymemorieseldersupport

instagram.com/letsmakemoments

Transcript:

Diane Hullet: Hi, I am Diane Hullet, and you’re listening to the Best Life Best Death podcast. And today’s guest is Emerson Lee. Hi Emerson. Hello. Emerson and I found each other on Instagram and you know, I think I just started following them ’cause the work was so interesting and so positive. And Emerson specializes in dementia and you know, they’re gonna tell us more about what that means, how they got into it.

And what we can know and learn, because I think so many people have a lot of fear around dementia. And one of the things I love about what you bring to the work is this really positive. Like really does it have to be so terrible when our brain works in a different way? So let’s just launch in like tell us about you and how you got into this work.

Emerson Lee: Yeah, I, that’s such a good question to start with because it’s so, there’s so much to it. You know, we could talk about that forever. You probably feel similarly with death work that just feels like you’re pulled to it again and again, and there’s so many stories and twists and turns. But the fourth theme that I’ve landed on, the why and how I got into it is a deep sense of kinship that I felt every time I’ve spent time with someone living with dementia that.

I enjoy my time with them. I enjoy the experiences we have. We appreciate our moments together. And the kind of plot twist of that, why was last year finding out that I am autistic and have a D H D and O C D, and all of a sudden I was like, oh, it makes sense that being with people with different brains makes me feel safe, makes me feel like we’re in the same place we understand each other.

And that was huge and is still evolving in my work for me to understand like, oh yeah, I’m also figuring out my different brain. I am working with people who are scared that their brains will become more different. And then working with people of course, who already have had those changes. So it’s there’s a lot of depth there.

There’s a lot to explore for sure. 

Diane Hullet: So much so that’s so powerful when you kind of have these insights that shed light on who you are and how you see the world and perceive the world, and all of a sudden you go, oh, that makes so much sense. 

Emerson Lee: Yeah, it sure does. Yeah. It’s been such a revelation to be like, oh, all this time, these different experiences I’ve had.

And looking back at my beginnings in memory care and going, oh, I understood them because I’m also dealing with that on a daily basis. I’m also really overwhelmed by things get really overstimulated. I obvious issues with auditory processing and with communication and social situations. It all kind of clicked and it’s still clicking and it’s really cool to be doing work where that’s also a big part of it.

So what can you like. 

Diane Hullet: Oh, there’s so many questions spinning in my brain. Like give us like your overview, big picture of dementia or Alzheimer’s. Like these are big words. They get thrown around. What’s your definition or understanding 

Emerson Lee: that? That is a big question. I. It’s hard for me because I don’t see a lot of difference between people with dementia and us.

One of the things we do a lot is we have them who have it and they’re a distinct category away from us. And then there’s the rest of us and I. Most of my work with dementia doesn’t really see a lot of the dementia. It just, it’s spending time with people, enjoying life with people. So I think that’s really, you know, that’s the flip side of that question is in so many ways, they’re still who they are and there’s still ways to, you know, bring them out and have experiences with them.

And I think that’s what’s missing so much in the dementia world is we’re seeing so much of, you know, these different symptoms and changes and behaviors. And we’re missing that. This is a person who’s usually pretty great. 

Diane Hullet: You had such a great post recently where you said, you know, we’re so cognitive brain focused that we forget that like the cognitive, intellectual brain is just one aspect of who we are.

And you listed all these other aspects. I don’t know if you wanted to say anything about that. 

Emerson Lee: Yeah, I, I could go down so many rabbit holes with this. I studied sociology, so I kind of have that bigger picture of all the different factors going into this. And yeah, there’s just so much That we don’t see about our relationship to dementia, that we live in a very ableist society where we expect to have every bit of our cognitive and physical function until the day that we die.

And connection doesn’t necessarily require that caring for each other both ways. Doesn’t necessarily require that. Creativity doesn’t necessarily require that there’s so many different aspects of our humanity that are not based in our abilities. And that’s, that’s my most fun thing to explore with people is like, who can we be if our memory, if our language, if our facial expressions are all different?

Diane Hullet: That’s so like that right there is like how do we explore our humanity when the part we’re most used to is operating differently? I just think that right there is the core of kind of your positive approach or just different approach. I don’t even have to call it positive, it’s just, I think it’s a different approach to the fear and the the, I don’t know, the angst I hear around people talking about dementia.

How did you come to that? Like was it through a training or your own experience or what brought you to this positive approach? I. 

Emerson Lee: You know, the best answer I can give for that is people living with dementia. You know, they really guided every single bit of my approach and shaped every aspect of it. I remember my first day in memory care being like, wow, I love these people.

This is great. I love spending time with them. And then every conversation, every experience I had with them, or in many situations, not conversation, just time spent together, not verbally. That shaped that. And then once I got outta memory care and decided to do work like this, I did a lot of research into advocates.

Living with dementia organizations led by them what they are saying about what matters to them. And every single person, the hundreds of people living with dementia, I’ve known both advocates. Self-advocates in memory care and advocates on a wider scale outside of memory care. The themes are really the same that they’re saying, I’m still here, I still wanna live life.

Please spend time with me because, you know, I wanna spend time with you. And that is, that’s the core of everything. 

Diane Hullet: And it’s different. It’s different than it was right for the person, but they’re still concretely who they are. Yeah, that’s, I love that you so. You know, if someone is a caregiver, how can they put these ideas into like practical practice?

I mean, it’s, I, I sort of get it in theory and then I go and how does that work on a daily basis? 

Emerson Lee: Mm-hmm. I have one word that is my answer to that, and it’s the foundation of everything I do, and that is micro delights. That is a term I came up with. It initially started actually as I call them micro activities in memory care, where I was expected to be doing, you know, an hour of.

You know, bingo, an hour of exercise. And I was more inclined to do, you know, I made sure that they got their coffee, how they wanted it. I made sure that they were sitting by who they wanted to, that someone who really enjoyed the sun got to sit outside. So all these little tiny moments, I called them micro activities, which really, they’re not activities, their, their delights, their experiences of life and connection and joy and.

You can explore them forever. They’re infinite. You know, there’s so many different things to discover about every single person. There’s things we can document now about ourselves, and if you’re providing care to someone, you can bring that out as much as possible. I could talk about this forever, so stop me if I talk too much.

No, 

Diane Hullet: I love it. Like with each unfolding moment, it’s just, it’s being present, right? I heard somebody recently call it glimmers. Like instead of looking for triggers that we’re constantly agitated by, what if we looked for glimmers? Which are these little pockets of joy, really similar to what you’re saying, micro.

Emerson Lee: What was your word? Delight. Micro delights. Micro delights, yeah. And I love that you brought glimmers into it. ’cause Yes, that’s the very similar concept. And both with glimmers and micro delights, which are essentially the same thing. They’re not just like a nice moment, like a small joy. They’re actually very, very utilitarian.

So if we had a new resident who was freaked out because they’re in a new place, if I could identify one of their micro delights, if I knew they liked Bob Dylan or they drank Coca-Cola all the time. That could immediately put them at ease. It could provide that sense of safety. Another, I mean, there’s so many examples.

Another one I give a lot as a recommendation is if you go to the hospital to have music playing so that they’re hearing something familiar and they feel safer staying in that hospital bed. Whereas without that, they might just rip out the IV and go walking down the hall. 

Diane Hullet: Right, right. So you’re really, you’re talking about offering these micro delights as a way in part to help manage what can be the non-compliant behavior.

Mm-hmm. 

Emerson Lee: Yeah. There’s, there’s applications to absolutely every single, you know, situation or behavior that you see. You know, we talk about exit seeking, which is really someone saying, I’m really uncomfortable and I wanna get out of here. People who are aggressive. Aggressive is a whole other world a, a word that I Try to bring awareness to that.

A lot of times it’s someone saying, this is my boundary. They can’t verbally say, I don’t like this. And so then they’re gonna push ’cause that’s what’s available to them. And so in those moments, making them more comfortable can decrease that. And really any, anything bathing is really scary for a lot of people.

Any change to a new environment, there’s just so many applications of how can we make them more comfortable and connect with them in that moment. And, 

Diane Hullet: and partly you’re saying how do we do that as they’re swimming and what they’re swimming in and how do we do it ahead of time? Like, like if I know I’m a tea drinker every morning, could I let people know that before I’m in this situation where I’m non-verbal or whatever my micro delight is, like you said, the sitting outside or the sunshine or, or not liking the sunshine ’cause you get hot easily and I can picture being taken outside and being frustrated by that.

’cause you don’t wanna be outside. 

Emerson Lee: There’s so many. I love that you mentioned tea. ’cause that’s one I talk about a lot is coffee is so important to a lot of people and you’re, you’ll probably be served coffee if you don’t say, Hey, I actually drink cha meal tea every single night, or whatever it may be.

And that, that switch you’re saying, of doing it in advance, That can bring a lot of comfort to people. And what it can do is it can start to, we can start to visualize those moments. So I now visualize the songs. I’ll be listening to the snacks I want. I very regularly in my house say, if I get dementia, I want you to do this for me or give me that.

And that’s just part of the language in our home. And we’re very comfortable with that. And we’re currently doing it for both a one of our parents and one of our grandparents in our family. And. Building those things into their life, we feel really connected to them. We feel really joyful with them. And yeah, it’s, it’s really beautiful to have, we really have a dimension, positive household in so many ways.

Diane Hullet: You use the word connection a lot and say, say more about that. 

Emerson Lee: Yeah. You, you know, it’s funny ’cause I say connection a lot and one of my mentors, Mary Fridley, who’s the co-founder of Reimagining Dementia, a creative coalition for justice, her word that she uses is relationality, which, I actually like, in a lot of ways better.

’cause it speaks to how are we relating to someone? How are we speaking to them? How are we finding ways to spend time with them? So much of the relationality and the connection we have with people with dementia is do this, do that, don’t do that. Stop doing that. I don’t believe you, when you say this, And the relationality of, I am fully in this moment with you.

I’m, I believe you, whatever your experience of reality is, I’m gonna go with you. If you think you’re walking to school right now that shift in relationality changes absolutely everything. Yeah. 

Diane Hullet: I’m thinking of so many places that that is true, right? Mm-hmm. How do we come into relation with the difficult thing or the challenging thing, rather than just push it to arm’s length and think it should change?

The person, the situation. Yeah. Yeah. It’s Well, and, and a lot of people I think, feel like. So there’s different categories of people, right? We’ve got caregivers of people with dementia, we’ve got caregivers that are at home caregivers, and then we’ve got more institutional caregivers, and then we’ve got the person living with the memory loss or dementia, and then we’ve got people who are fearful of it or anticipating it, or it’s in their family and they wonder about it.

How do you work with that anticipatory 

Emerson Lee: fear? Yeah, that is my sweet spot. I really love to work with people on that, and I think people think, oh, you work with people who are afraid of dementia. They think that’s really doom and gloom, and really what we end up talking about is who are you as a person and who have you communicated that to, and who do you trust?

What kind of experiences do you wanna have? You know, is there a park that you love to go to when you’re upset? Is there a part of your daily routine that’s really important to you? And like I said, starting to visualize what that might look like in the future so that, that demographic, who is very, very scared that it’s gonna happen to them, I can see them, their, their eyes will light up.

They’ll, you can see more peace and empowerment and hope you can watch that light bulb moment happen. And I’ve had people I’ve worked with who now are like, on fire for this. They’re like, yes, this is who I am. This is what I want for my life. They’re sharing it with people around them, and it’s just a night and day difference.

Wow, 

Diane Hullet: Emerson, do you typically work, like are you working one-on-one with people or are you working as a consultant to families? Or do you work in an institution 

Emerson Lee: that is very up in the air right now? So right now I’m kind of straddling some of those worlds and the kind of two worlds that I’m. I’m putting one foot in one and one foot in the other.

One is working with companies like in-home care agencies that are actively providing care to someone and working with them to incorporate micro delights to doc, document them for their clients and get caregivers and staff and family members, everybody. In that kind of relationality with that person of this is who they are, this is how we support them, spend time with them.

The other one is the anticipator, the people who are really scared. It’s often people in their sixties and seventies with family history where they’re just thinking, you know, every single day, oh, is that it happening? And is it, is it me next? And that really intense fear can really take over and take so much life force out of you and enjoyment of life in that.

I love working with them. I’ve been working in a program, a group program that just finished and I’m planning to shift it so that it’s like a rolling enrollment where at any point in time someone could come and start taking some of those classes. And there’ll be a community of people doing it with them.

So that’s the vision. ’cause it, it really thrives in community hearing, people sharing their experiences. And we have these, we call ’em sit and sips in the program where we just. Sip our drinks and chat and the things that come up in those calls are really, really beautiful. Really profound. And live.

These are, this is over Zoom? It is over Zoom, yeah. 

Diane Hullet: Neat. So accessible to anywhere you’re based where? I’m in Seattle. Okay. Okay. So based in Seattle, but available over Zoom. And you and I had talked about like, what are some of the great resources out there? Tell tell about your free resource list. ’cause I think that’s a, that’s a real place to start.

I. 

Emerson Lee: Yeah, I, the resource list is kind of where I put everything that I wish people knew about, and it’s on my website, on the resources page. It’s just a very long list. It’s divided into categories and there’s a lot of good stuff there. And part of the reason I share that there is I’m not doing one-on-one consulting with.

People who are currently caring for someone anymore. Initially when I started this work, that was kind of the assumption is, oh, well you’re a dementia specialist, so you’re gonna work with caregivers who are actively providing care. And it took me a while to shift to that. Oh, I’m actually working with people, ideally 10 to 15 years before they have it.

It’s a very different demographic. And when I made that choice, I said, well, everything I’m sharing with people in these consultations, I want ’em to have it. And so if you are a caregiver, if you are a person living with dementia, if you have it anywhere in your life and you want resources, that’s all there for you.

And there’s all sorts of different, there’s books, there’s organizations, there’s products all sorts of different things. 

Diane Hullet: Fabulous, fabulous. You mentioned a couple of your favorite books. Do you wanna say those titles? Yeah, 

Emerson Lee: my, so the program I just finished, which may or may not be offered again or will be in a different format, it was called From Panic to Power, and the participants in from Panic to Power know that every single session we had, I mentioned two authors, Lynn Castile Harper and Ann Davis Basting.

They are both part of a coalition and part of reimagining dementia and. Lynn’s book is called On Vanishing Mortality, dementia, and what it means to Disappear. And Ann’s book is called Forget Memory, creating Better Lives for People with Dementia. And both of them really dig into like, how are we treating people with dementia on a societal level?

I. What is, what is this fear we have around it and how do we find ways to be more present and feel a little less fear? I love Ann’s the title bands, but forget memory, you know, if we set memory aside, we’ve still got a person there. And they, they’re both just so profound and have so much to share.

Diane Hullet: Say a little more about this Rea Re-Imagining Dementia Coalition. That sounds really 

Emerson Lee: helpful. Oh yes, they are fantastic. I, my life has just gotten so much better since I discovered them during the pandemic. Mary Fridley and her at the time now late co-founder Susan Mossad, the two of them are such a fantastic duo of people.

They saw everything that was happening just collectively to people living with dementia in general, but then especially in the pandemic which was close to my heart ’cause I was in memory care during the pandemic. They created this coalition of people saying, let’s treat this differently. Let’s peop treat people living with dementia differently.

Let’s have like, create these different experiences. So all these things I’m talking about, the coalition’s talking about all the time we’re, we have these gatherings. We have a campaign coming up called Taking It to the Streets to get these kind of conversations going everywhere we possibly can. And what I love about the coalition is it’s.

Not bureaucratic at all. Like you can just sign up and be like, yes, I agree with this, like, concept. I wanna be part of it and you’re in, you know, and then you can contribute however much you want to, or not want to, however much you’re able to. But it’s very open, you know, it’s not I always tell people it’s, it’s not something where you’re adding this huge commitment to your life.

It’s just, come on, join us. We want you to be part of this movement. And then however you can, you know, be part of it. We appreciate it. That sounds 

Diane Hullet: fantastic, so that you can find out more about th**@re*****************.com and you can find out more about Emerson’s wo**@ma*****************.com, right? Yes.

Did I get those right? And the other resource you and I were talking about is Tepa Snow. Yes, of course. I don’t have that handy. What’s her website? 

Emerson Lee: I don’t remember her website, but if you Google positive approach to care, that’s her the name of her organization. And Tifa is someone who has worked with people a lot on that relationality of how do we interact with someone differently especially in regards to different behaviors we see, you know, how do we relate to them when they are exit seeking or when they are.

We see apathy in them and they don’t wanna do things that we ask them to do, or they’re refusing care. She, I think her background is as a occupational therapist, and so she really talks through, you know, how, how do we work with this person physically, mentally, emotionally, in a positive way that supports and empowers them and then, you know, creates better care partnerships from that.

If you, 

Diane Hullet: I mean, if you could imagine anything, what would you, what would you create that was completely different? As far as 

Emerson Lee: like what? 

Diane Hullet: Like as far as care for people with dementia, you know, 10 years from now, 15 years from now, what would you like it to look like? 

Emerson Lee: I think one of the things I’d want is that when people think of dementia, they think of music and creativity and food and all these different avenues, aspects of being human, ways to spend time with people, you know, that’s what I think.

I, I associate dementia with those things and. When you present that to people, when you create those pathways for them, it’s just endless opportunity. Currently, yeah, we see a bit of it. We see a bit of music. It’s valuable. We see a bit bit of creativity, but it’s so minimally offered. Especially in most settings.

Like, oh, there’s an art class every once in a while, you know? But that kind of creativity of every single day, you know, telling stories and getting them, you know, moving and grooving, having little dance parties, even if it’s from a wheelchair. There’s just so much. Heart and soul that we can bring back into it.

And I think that’s what I wanna see. I’d wanna see, like, I’m watching America’s Got Talent right now. I wanna see a dementia dance troupe on there. I wanna see, you know, books. There are books written by people living with dementia. I have them on my resource list, but I wanna see more of them. I wanna see paintings and all these different things that people can bring, but we just aren’t offering the resources to do that on a wide scale yet.

Why not? Why not? That’s, yep, that’s the question. I mean, 

Diane Hullet: is it, is it money? Is it training, is it attitude or all of the above? 

Emerson Lee: I, I think money and training are certainly a part of it. I don’t wanna dismiss, but I think there’s a huge aspect of it that we don’t think it’s possible. I. We don’t think that someone’s able to do it.

And one of my favorite things, I talk about it a lot personally and professionally is accommodation. You know, you’re not gonna have a person living with dementia just spontaneously with no resources, tell you, you know, a really creative story. You have to create the space, sit down, ask them questions.

And people don’t because they don’t think they have anything to say. They don’t think that they would be able to pick up a, a paintbrush much less create something. On the page. So I think, I think a huge aspect of it is just opening people’s minds to what’s possible. Hmm. 

Diane Hullet: That’s, I find that so moving.

I mean, I think that’s why I was originally drawn to your work, because it’s just, if we, if we can just for a second step out of our idea that our cognitive, intellectual mind is the most important part of us. And therefore if it’s compromised, everything’s gone to pieces. But what if that’s not the case?

And then I do think there’s all these aspects of creativity and relationality, as you’ve said, that can actually come to the fore in a new way. But I guess, you know, it’s all tied into who’s doing the caregiving and who’s, how safe is the person? And is it in an institution? Is it at home? And how does it work?

And who’s exhausted and how’s it getting paid for? Right. So, 

Emerson Lee: and, and that’s part of what’s happening right now is that part of the reason there’s no, there’s so little possibility is ’cause 95% of the world is saying we don’t care about those people. We don’t wanna hear about them. We think that they’re basically useless and are waiting to die.

And I think that’s the long game for me, for reimagining dementia, for this whole movement is let’s get those 95% of people in, then maybe caregivers won’t be so exhausted. Maybe then we won’t have institutions that are overflowing with people. It’s a huge project, you know, that’s a massive thing that sometimes I sit with and get really, really discouraged.

Especially when I think back to being in a setting like that. But I do believe it’s happening. And I believe that it’s possible that people. We can get those 95% of people to start sick to say, maybe I will have a dance party with this person. Maybe I will sit down and have a conversation. Maybe it won’t make sense, but I could still enjoy that time with them.

I, 

Diane Hullet: that’s fabulous. You’ve got two. Great. Sets of initials behind your name. One is C D P, which is certified Dementia Practitioner, and the other is C M D C P, which is certified Montessori dementia care professionals. Say more about the Montessori piece. I was just so intrigued by that. 

Emerson Lee: Yeah, if people are aware of Montessori or if you’re not, it’s a, it’s usually associated with children.

And raising them, you know, honoring their humanity and their choices and giving them, they often call it a prepared environment that you equip them with the resources to be curious, to explore, to create, to connect. And essentially the C M D C P certification and the movement around Montessori for dementia is, That’s still possible.

Humans still seek that out. When you see someone wandering, grabbing stuff and opening drawers, that’s a curiosity. That’s saying, I’m looking for things. I’m, I’m interacting with the world. And we can prepare the environment for a person with dementia too. And that’s essentially what we’re saying here with the creativity is what if they had all these resources?

What if all of us were contributing, going and spending time with them and seeing what, you know, experiences we could have that would. Completely changed how we think of a person with dementia. I think 

Diane Hullet: there’s real possibility to completely change it. I love the name reimagining it. You know, reimagining dementia is such a great way to, in itself, in that name of the coalition, bring creativity into the name.

Emerson Lee: Yeah. Yeah. And one of the things I love about reimagining dementia, that took me a long time to realize and it’s actually completely changed my life too, is. When they say creativity, they also mean creativity in every moment of our day. That there’s creativity at meals, there’s creativity. When you respond to someone who says something that doesn’t make sense to you, there’s creativity in, you know, what clothes you put on and you know the choices you give someone.

So it’s, it’s that just like whole life creativity, that, and I love that ’cause people still think, you know, oh, it’s just an art project. And. My life has gotten so much more creative. And the other word they use in the same regard is playful. That all these different things can be playful as well. So bringing creativity and play into these moments is it’s absolutely revolutionary.

Diane Hullet: I, which goes back to your micro delights, right? Which goes back to where is the delight in every moment, which is playfulness, which is creativity, which is responsiveness is almost a word that I think of. 

Emerson Lee: Yeah. Responsiveness is a great word. And one of the things I emphasize with micro delights, Especially for caregivers who are currently providing care.

I think of it like a seen list or a prop list that it can feel really hard to be playful or relational or creative or responsive when we’re really stressed out and dealing with a behavior. So having, like, I have a end of life planning document that I encourage people to make before getting it, but also you can make it after.

That’s your prop list. You go there and you can see, oh, I know I need to get the camo meal tea, or I need to get the, that TV show. They always watch, you know, jeopardy maybe. There’s, it creates shorter pathways shortcuts to those moments because it is really hard. 

Diane Hullet: Right. Kind of shortcuts through moving through the behavior into a connection again, so that.

Well, I think of the term dysregulation, right? Like they’re dysregulated. So how do we reregulate? And part of that is how does the caregiver regulate mm-hmm. And syncopation with them, if that’s 

Emerson Lee: the word. Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. There’s, it’s so much dysregulation and I. So much of the way we currently provide care is Dysregulating in and of itself.

You know, part of the reason institutions are so hard is people feel like I’m trapped. I don’t know where I am. No one’s answering that question for me. So the more we can bring regulation into an environment that’s scary to someone the better off they and we and everyone will be. 

Diane Hullet: Fantastic. Thank you so much, Emerson.

Is there any last words you’d want listeners to take away to think about? 

Emerson Lee: I think one of the concepts I’ve been playing around lately a lot with, especially people who are afraid of getting it, is that our future selves deserve so much love. If we do get dementia, we deserve all these kinds of experiences and there’s so much we can do right now to be.

Preparing for them, but we can also be doing them now. So that’s kind of where I guide people to, if they are scared of it, is, you know, be creative now. Make a playlist now. You know, enjoy your favorite foods. Tell people the kinds of things you would want to initiate that process. Now it’s not, it’s not.

Living fully in the future. It’s also that you start doing it today. And that’s, that’s a lot less doom and gloom than it seems to be. That’s 

Diane Hullet: beautiful. And I also think of it as a certain level of, like, attunement is almost the word I wanna think of. And, you know, I, I have a couple of friends who are really good gift givers, right?

Like, they just seem to tune into that. Thing that really captures the person and whether they make it by hand or they’ve bought something, they just have this way of presenting it that is so connected, and I’m always really touched by those gifts. I think, oh, I think I’m a little casual at this and they’re really good at it, so, This strikes me as the same kind of thing, like how do you really attune to what calms that person to what brings them little micro delights in their day and and just kind of shift the paradigm from being so doom and gloom as you said.

Emerson Lee: Yeah. I love that you said attunement because that kind of brought me back to what I wish people had knew, know is attuning to ourselves now, you know, the more you attune to yourself and those things. You know, within yourself, the more you can share ’em with other people ’cause it totally is, it’s attunement to each other and it’s also within ourselves of what, what’s important to us.

And the more you are clear on what’s important to you, the better that’ll serve you in the future. So well 

Diane Hullet: said. Well, I thank you for your time and all your work, Emerson and these incredible resources that I think you’ve put out for people. Again, you can find Emerson’s re*******@ma*****************.com, and they’ve got a resource list there that really captures the best of what’s kind of out there in the positive dementia field.

So thanks again. 

Emerson Lee: Thank you for having me. I’m just so grateful to talk about these things and for anyone who’s listening, I hope, hope you feel a little bit more hope, and please know those resources are there for you. 

Diane Hullet: Fabulous. You’ve been listening to the Best Life Best Death podcast, and I’m Diane. You can find out more about the work I do at Best Life.

Best death.com. Thanks so much for listening.